..history..

i am not a heavyweight
by Cassi Niemann

I am not a heavyweight. My GT Crew sweatshirt says I'm a lightweight but I only rowed light for one season, my last. I never felt like a lightweight. So now, as a coach, I consistently find myself repeating the same line… “You don’t have to be a heavyweight to race like one."

My novice year, we actually did have a lightweight 8+ headed in to Dad Vails, but I had successfully seat raced into the Open 4+ (considered the priority boat). Even though I could have rowed light, I had beat out other heavyweights and found myself on the starting line going against some very BIG girls. Of course, it was so cold and rainy that I could barely see them. My boat that spring of 1998 had me in stroke, Catherine Owens in 3, Melissa Babb in 2 and Vicki Haberman in bow. That year in Philly was especially yucky, the rain and the wind had officials delaying and canceling races.

Unfortunately, after coming in first or second in both our heat and semi, the officials cancelled all races on Saturday. Because of travel issues, equipment and the rest of the team, we didn’t participate in the make-up races on Sunday and I found myself without a final race at my first Dad Vails as a heavyweight woman.

Coming back to the team in the fall of 1998 was supposed to be my big break. There were countless lightweights and tough women on the team the year before and I was looking forward to racing women of my own size (lightweights). But for some reason, no one came back, except for one varsity woman, Dana McAlhany (now Hutcherson). I was once again, rowing an Open 4+ with the same novices from my Dad Vail 4+ and Dana. Then, halfway through the season, we found ourselves with only 4 rowers, one coxswain named Mollie Newton, and no coach. Despite the unsteady nature of our squad, I never thought about leaving, there always seemed to be enough people around to keep me aware of why I was out there in the first place.

It wasn’t until we found a new coach did I begin to feel the excitement of racing varsity for the spring season. With Harriet Hamilton becoming the new varsity woman’s coach, I began to see a big change in the team. It was Harriet who started with the quotes on the labels, and she was the one who gave me my most inspirational line: “It’s not the size of the dog in a fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

Harriet had a lot of faith in the women on that team and it was obvious. She began to guide the varsity women out of the hole we had found ourselves in. So, with a steady coach and some renewed hope, the women started to come back to the team. Harriet found herself with at least 9 rowers and a coxswain, little Mark Bearak. I remember ending up in bow seat, always asking, how can I get out of this seat? Harriet would give me a quote from Gandhi like, “Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will,” making me realize that I had to believe that I could do it. I had to want it and know that I was allowed to want it, even if it meant beating out a heavyweight.

So as it came down to the end of the season, it looked as if the open four would be the most competitive. Seat racing and tears became an everyday occurrence. I remember those days feeling like I couldn’t mess up, not at any moment, since there were so many fighting for those seats. The boats weren’t set until right before SIRA. I hadn’t been in the four for most of the season and here we were, sitting at the line in Oak Ridge, looking at some of the biggest girls on the block! We decided up at that start that we were going to pull “until we saw Jesus.” Well, with about 500 meters to go, we found ourselves in the lead. But FIT was coming in quick, Mark starts screaming at us and we find ourselves bow ball to bow ball with FIT. I thought I had given it all, there was nothing left, but somewhere in that sprint, the boat seemed to lift up out of the water and all of us caught a second wind (third or fourth more like it). We finished about a bow ball’s length behind FIT. Just coming in second was enough to get us pumped up, but the thought of just missing the gold was hard to handle. Laura remembers Natalie saying "I pulled so hard I saw the whole Last Supper!" So, we came into the dock wiping tears from our face from the pain but also the joy. As we pulled up, we saw our coach, Harriet, also wiping her eyes and telling us that our finish was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. All we had to do now, was do it again in Philly.

Unfortunately, FIT didn’t go to Dad Vails, so we didn’t have the revenge we wanted. But we did have heats, semis and a final… all with good weather. After winning our heat and semi, we entered the finals with the second fastest time overall in the Open 4+. I don’t think I’ve mentioned who was in this boat… Laura (Sassaman) Solomon was in bow, (a previous lightweight), me in 2 seat (a lightweight), Dana (McAlhany) Hutcherson in 3 seat (a previous lightweight), and Natalie (Horan) Woody in stroke as the only true openweight. (You could also notice that everyone from that boat is now married… except me). Thank goodness for our coxswain, Mark Bearak. He’s not married, and he also weighed a grand total of 110 pounds on the day of the races.

So, with a time just a bit slower than Fordham (whose same line up had won Dad Vails the previous year), we headed up to the starting line. I can only remember a few things from that row up the Schuylkill, but the insane levels of nervousness and the disgusting power bar gel crap that we forced ourselves to eat at the line stand out pretty clear. I do remember the last 500 meters in front of the grandstands, though, going neck and neck with some “purple team” as Mark would say while screaming his head off. I look at pictures from that day and find myself saying things like “oooh, look at that face” or “look at my arm muscles here and the bend in the oar!” because I don’t think I had ever pulled harder in my life.

It wasn’t until we got to the launching dock that we really learned that we had come in second. So we missed the opportunity to go to the awards dock and get our medals. Of course, we did end up going down to get our medals and took lots of pictures with them and the women from the pair who had unexpectedly gotten bronze. It was an amazing day for the varsity women. I remember feeling proud of not only myself but also all the women that had come back to the team to make it better. We had taken the day in Philly, that in my memory, usually went to just the men, and proved that you don’t need to be a heavyweight woman to race like one… or to beat one.

Thanks Harriet, Mark, Laura, Dana, Nat and all the other varsity women of 1999 - you all were (and still are) awesome. And you’d be happy to know that I occasionally give quotes on little labels to my novice women for a bit of inspiration.